I’ve not written anything here in nine days, which per my ‘social media consultant’ is a bad idea.

As I keep being told, somehow the fact that I post inane things here on a regular basis is phase one of a South Park underpants gnome-like endeavor in which the end result is profit.  I don’t know how it works, there’s at least one piece of the puzzle that I’ve no clue whatsoever about, but I’m told to “keep putting out content.”  And so, here we are.

There are people who hate to go to doctors, and for the most part I’m among them.  Cardiologists, urologists, dentists, oncologists, it honestly makes no difference:  if I’m not deathly ill or have a specific matter I wish to address?  I’ll put off a doctor’s visit until I have no alternative.  Not because I’m cheap or have poor medical insurance (the latter, based on my premiums, better damned well not be the case) but because I hate wasting time – mine, theirs, anyone involved.

In the past week I’ve had two medical appointments:  the first with my general practitioner, which was essentially a formality to accomplish something I’ll save for a future post – so I can put out more content!  Yeah… that’s it.  The second was this afternoon, to an optometrist, and of all the doctors I see, I hate seeing the optometrist (pardon the pun) most.

Not because my optometrist is bad at what she does or has poor rapport with her patients (quite the opposite; she runs you through assembly-line style – something I actually appreciate – getting you in, getting you dealt with, and getting you out the door).  What I hate about my optometrist’s visits is that there’s only one reason why I’ve gone to see her:  because I’ve broken at least three pair of glasses since our last time together:  a “primary” pair (progressive bifocals, nice frames, around $300), a “secondary” pair (“single vision” lenses, identical frames, around $175), and a “tertiary” pair (“single vision” lens of whatever the cheapest style I can find online at the time happens to be – usually $39-59, tops).  Seeing her means that my physical ineptitude and klutziness has caused me to destroy at least $500 worth of eyewear – and every time I see her, I think “Say goodbye to another $500, you clumsy oaf.”

Today was a little unique in that evidently my prescription did change significantly – so significantly in fact that I’m going back for another test next week.  Evidently your corneas can ‘flatten out’ in spots, a product, I presume, of sleeping face-first into hard pillows, perhaps?  I have no idea.  But today I was told that eventually, someday, I’ll likely need eye surgery to correct this.  The testing conducted today and that of next week?  I’ve no idea what it was all for.  All I know is that my eyes are burning like Hell, I was given an “emergency” pair of contact lenses because I (a) have no glasses of my new prescription and (b) even if my prescription hadn’t changed, they’d all be busted… and I’m about to “say goodbye to another $500,” because I’m a clumsy oaf.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *